I think I've come to terms with the fact that this blog has been, and always will be solely for my own benefit.
Is the point of the modern school system to build up an enormous reservoir of knowledge, problem solving skills, and creative ability only to slowly undo all of that right before the end of the process? It certainly seems that way. All of the material that I picked up from grades 0-12 has been taken from me. Stolen. All of those tediously memorized historical facts, undercut by Howard Zinn. The basics of plot, character, setting, etc., excised by everyone that I started reading after senior year of high school. Postmodernism? Deconstructionism? Literally taking all of those things I learned and making them utterly obsolete. How do I know that Columbus discovered America? What makes the country that I live in "America"? Can a nation be anything but a group of people living together? Are any of the words I'm using right now actually representative of anything in the real world? Or do they just approach accuracy indefinitely, a decidedly phallic asymptote ramming its way directly up my ass, no doubt working its way towards my brain. There aren't enough pills in the world to combat the massive panic attack that will undoubtedly occur if any of those things are thought about for too long. It all ends in catatonia anyways. Either way you look at it you eventually think yourself into inaction, or at the very least, crippling apathy. You can start to avoid all forms of intellectualism, start drinking 40s and headbutting the sidewalk, but that's just a mess. You can start to fully embrace intellectualism, hoping that there's some sort of answer at the end, but eventually finding out that the more you know, the more there is to know (I think I said that in the last post), and thus leaving you even more fucked because the liquor store closes at nine and you wasted all your time learning.
Solutions:
Embrace chaos, and be as esoteric, strange, and against-the-grain as possible. It certainly seems more in line with the current mess of affairs than traditional learning and expression, and at the very least, it's fun. Watch Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job.
Suicide? I think Camus said that the goal of absurdism was to establish whether or not suicide was justified in a God-less world. Work on that.
Note: be careful, as those two solutions are remarkably close. Also, I endorse the former over the latter. Because dead people cannot watch Beaver Boys. And thus cannot be happy.
If anyone read this, I would be more worried about a disclaimer.
